I found myself frustrated today on several occasions. I think things are starting to get me down a bit. I'm tired, and tired of being broke and barely scraping by. This week has been especially hard. We had enough money to make sure we had formula and diapers, milk, bread and gas for the week. Actually scratch that, we don't have enough gas for the week, and no I'm not quite sure yet how we will rectify that...but I honestly can't even think about it now.
I know the Lord will provide, He always does. And quite honestly that's the only reason it has taken me this long to let our situation get me down. I know He is right beside me and I am so grateful for His presence, especially in times like these. Things have been so out of control since we found out we had to move short notice 2 months ago. We have had to borrow from family repeatedly (thanks guys, you know who you are) and we are still not getting everything paid. I'm not sure if there is a point to all of this, I guess I just needed to vent.
Today I decided we would take a free day from school. The boys watched a few episodes of the Magic Schoolbus and played a couple of file folder games. That was the extent of our academics. Lo and behold, what I wanted to be a relaxing day for all of us turned into a day of feeling like I wanted to scream. The few opportunities I got to relax and do something I WANTED to do, the boys came tearing through the house waking their baby brother up, or they came in the room asking me a billion and one unrelated questions, or I heard them bickering in the next room and had to go mediate...... it was constantly something.
Currently I am finally getting my much needed free time, but I fear it is going to be cut short. It has been a long day and momma is very tired. It just figures. Regardless...
Thank You for today. Thank You for the blessings of each day, whether it is a good one or a bad one. I am thankful for each day I open my eyes and the sun is shining, the birds are singing, my children are smiling, and I can breathe deep. Thank You that you have entrusted my children to me and that you have carried us through this very difficult time. Thank you for the grace You freely give each and every day. Thank You that my sins are removed from me thanks to Your sacrifice. Father, please help me to do better tomorrow. Help me to show more grace to my children and to be patient with them as You are with me. Help me to take the time to cuddle them and tell them I love them. Help me to remember what a blessing I have in them. You are so good Lord. Amen.